motherhood

Sleep. What’s That?

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Another insomniac night.

Another night to go through the list of unaccomplished tasks and begin the self flagellation.

Another night to run a story through my mind.

Another night to sigh and turn, thinking that my son’s 12 hour sleep schedule is being wasted.

Not another night where I lay in bed for hours trying to get back to sleep. This morning (early, early morning) I will waste my sleep hours pounding keyboard buttons.

I’ve often wondered, while lying awake in bed, on why is it that when we are most tired we can’t sleep? Take, for instance, now. I sit here at my computer typing words onto the page and my eyes grow tired and my mind thinks, “Now I will sleep!” But if I were to go lay down, it will be lies. All lies.

Around the time I got pregnant my body started a sleep cycle of awake every three to four hours. I presume this was for the time when my son would be born, making his round the clock feedings doable. Well, early on he started sleeping through the night well into the 12 and 14 hour territory but I still woke at three and four hours. And STILL wake at three and four hours. Tonight though I should be glad, I woke at four which is a whopping six hours of sleep. However, I keep thinking… It could be twelve! 

Now that I’m awake I should take a look at the writing I did yesterday on the manuscript… Or finish that post on cloth diapering… Or wrap up the new cover design for my next novel… Or…

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