• pregnancy,  writing life

    Not Yet

    The days blur together like fog and clouds melding at the horizon. The unknown lurking in their white shadow brings me curiosity and apprehension. On the other side of this white fog is my new life, shadowy and enticing, beckoning me forward. Yet as I enter the misty wisps I can see nothing but the here and now. Shadows of babies and joyous laughter ping the air calling me like a siren deeper into the unknown. I am ready, yet the other side stays elusive. Heavy with the new life in my womb, I make my way as tendrils of sugar mist tangle and twist around my arms and legs.…

  • pregnancy

    Week 38 – Where’s My Baby??

    Observations from the deck of the Third Trimester: I can eat twice as much as I did non-pregnant without gaining a pound.(Where does it all go? I say, hormones. They must be like little blow torches to caloric intake.) My son’s head is literally in my crotch. Which makes me wonder in the miracles of nature, that when I squat he doesn’t just fall out.  Mood swings as strong and far reaching as the Earth’s rotation around the sun. Not a single Braxton-Hick or false labor contraction despite the “super soft cervix” that I’m sporting. Not a single one. Which makes me wonder if we’re going to slow play this…

  • pregnancy

    It’s Getting Hot in Here

    Me ready to pop. Kidding, this was taken 3 weeks ago, far from popping. We’ve made it. We’re in the home stretch now. Night sweats, awkward sitting, heavy breathing, insomnia, stretch marks, mood swings, squashed bladder and general inability to think. Now we wait. The waiting is the hard part. For a first time mom, waiting for labor is like a new soldier waiting for deployment notification. You’re about to embark on your first life changing event, but you don’t know when that is. You have a window in which you know it’ll happen but no exact time. Labor is this mythical beast in the room. This monstrosity that has…

  • pregnancy

    Uh, Oh… I Peed My Pants

    Me at 28 weeks. Ah, pregnancy and the third trimester. I’ve avoided talking about my pregnancy for loads of reasons, the main one being that I was waiting for something to talk about. So far things have been sunshine and roses. Well, excluding the first trimester that was a giant shit-sandwich from week 8 to 14. Not being able to physically get off one’s couch due to mental and physical instability is crushing. Though! On the bright side, every day since then has been a magical fairy-dusted one. Just when I feel pouty about pregnancy, I ask myself: is this as bad as the first trimester? That usually turns my…

  • pregnancy,  writing life

    Keep On Truckin’

    Last month I did NaNoWriMo. This month? I’m finishing NaNoWriMo.I realized last month that there were no days off for a 50K word contest. I had blissfully forgotten that my first book was written in just a mere three weeks. I worked morning, noon and night on it around my full time job. It was a frenzied piece of shit when I was done, but hey! I finished it! This time I plotted and planned the story thinking that it would take me less time, I’d just hammer out the scenes and whallah! it would be done. But no, and that’s OK. I was uninspired going into the story, and…

  • pregnancy

    Mullings

    A young pregnant woman looking happy… she must have just offed someone. Being pregnant is interesting. Being a woman that now has things which move around in her belly is infinitely more interesting. There’s nothing I can say to describe the feeling, because it’s more than just one feeling. It’s a culmination of feelings. The fact that it’s your husband’s child, and your child, a piece of you, swimming around in your belly, kicking and swirling. There’s nothing absolutely like it. Fantastic acrobatic gas comes close, but it’s no cigar. Mainly because at some point you feel your spine get thumped, and gas has never done that. Nor uniquely and…

  • pregnancy,  profanity,  writing life

    Give a Fucks and Fall Foliage

    The scenery on my morning walk – GORGEOUS! Back into the normal routine of morning walks, I was greeted by an immense color display this morning that only mother nature could conjure up. Fiery reds, blinding yellows and the blend of all colors in between. Throw in some fog and morning chill and fall has officially started! For your touring pleasure: Give-a-fucks. Now onto part II of this post. And no I’ll not be tying fall foliage and give-a-fucks together here. I’m just going to awkwardly dive right in. It’s a phrase that can be one or three words. It can be used sarcastically, literally or figuratively. It’s a well…

  • pregnancy,  writing life

    It’s Just a Trifle of a Cold… or the Apocalypse if You’re Pregnant

    Me, cheesin’ it up in the bathroom mirror (sent pic to my ma) First, I just want to welcome myself back to work today. And with that I realized that the last meal I had at my desk a week ago was apparently tar paper and sawdust. My keyboard and mouse have smears of oily stickum that defy removal with water and a scrub with the corner of my sweater. And the crumbs… lord the crumbs! What the hell was I eating?? Damn. Just found some on the keys of the keyboard —- standby for nuclear cleaning tactics. Ahhhhhhhh. All better. Now, where was I? Ah, yes. Welcome back. Pregnancy…

  • pregnancy,  writing life

    First of October – Holy $&*%#!!

    Lovely rain dumping skies, dark and gray – perfect for Fall baking! I <3 bad weather. Getting ready to hit the Wordstock Festival this weekend and looking at the calendar realized that we’re solidly in October now – ermegherd!! How’d that happen?? I think this is the time of year when we look over our shoulders to the first part of the year and think, I didn’t camp, bbq, bicycle, foosball, whatever enough! I’ve decided to call this Personal Flagellation week. Or in my case “WTF why aren’t my books published yet” week. Then I remember that for three and a half months I was laid out with the baby-making…

  • pregnancy,  wasting time,  writing life

    A Writer’s Life: Pretty Nails

    Holiday matching is of utmost importance. Being a starving artist makes for interesting shopping. When I was laden with money while working as a marketing exec I wouldn’t bother buying nail polish, I’d have someone do my nails. If I had the time. I was known for keeping them short and unobtrusive so that they didn’t clash with my work outfits or make typing a pain in the ass. I didn’t realize what joy I was missing. Now, being an uber thrift – a quality I inherited from my grandfather and a skill I exploited in my teens – I’m addicted to little joys. Like nail polish. It’s a cheap…